Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
