i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
