i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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