Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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