I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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