yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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