dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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