I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
