Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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