he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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