we have pet lesbian snakes
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
