That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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