We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
