is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
