Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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