giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
