So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
