They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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