look no pants
Apparently you make a good broom.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
