you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
