It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
