ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
