my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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