Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
