genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
