My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
