i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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