Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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