I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
