i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
