just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
home. puking in laundry basket.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
