She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
