Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
