this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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