So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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