I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
