Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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