All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
