she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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