Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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