he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
