Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
