Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
