Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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