We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This gyro tastes like lonliness
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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