please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
