if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
