i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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