Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
