how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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