new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Everclear isn't food dammit
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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