"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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