Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
