My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
