Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
