party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
