these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
