Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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